Let go of something good for something better
Is what you have good? How would you know if there were something radically better?
Pride tells us that what you know is all there is to know, and what you have is all there is to have. Humility declares otherwise.
We all know deep down that there is something better than what we have. There is always something radically better than what you already have. Even the most prideful hear a soft whisper from time to time saying it is so.
Believing something better exists is a prerequisite to receiving something better, and progressing to the point of knowledge from the point of belief necessarily involves pain. Why? Because gaining the awareness that something radically better exists while not yet possessing that something is painful. It is a revelation of what you lack, the difference between your present and possible joy.
In truth, nothing in us is really all that good: “...verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity.” (Psalm 39:5) In the scriptures, the word “vanity” means something that can’t do what it purports to do.
We are overcome by the world. Nothing in us is sufficient to overcome the world, even if it sometimes seems that it can. We only overcome the world as we replace what is in us with what is from God. As we are exposed to more and more of reality, our understanding of our nothingness increases:
When thou with rebukes dost correct man for iniquity, thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth: surely every man is vanity. Selah. (Psalm 39:11)
Experience shows us that even the things we previously prized are altogether insufficient, as when Daniel was visited by a heavenly messenger and exclaimed, “...there remained no strength in me: for my comeliness was turned in me into corruption, and I retained no strength.” (Daniel 10:8)
We derive a tremendous sense of security from the ideas that 1) things are consistent and 2) that most everything is known. We derive an immense amount of happiness and security from fleeting illusions—things that are actually incapable of maintaining the degree and duration of happiness they have given us to date.
Belief in illusions doesn’t stem primarily from lack of sight, but rather from the terror that comes from admitting what you really see. The signs are all around, but no one cares to admit it.
What would it mean to you if something radically better was always available? It would make both your expectations and your promises absolutely worthless.
In order for God to give you something better, you have to let go of something worse. He will show you the impermanence in what you thought was permanent. He will show you sadness in what you thought was happy, the sorrow of what you thought was joyful, the pain of what you thought was a source of pleasure, and so on. There is opposition in all things, and there is both good and evil in all things. He will show you a greater degree of good by showing you a greater degree of evil.
Much of what is available on this earth does not have the power to last. John the Baptist said: “A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.” (John 3:27)
In the end, every support you lean on that lies outside of God’s character will fail you: “For whatsoever things remain are by me; and whatsoever things are not by me shall be shaken and destroyed.” (D&C 132:14) What God offers can’t be overcome by the world. It endures everything that can happen here and hereafter.
God helps us find what endures by showing us how what we think we have does not endure. If you have lost something, you can either wallow in the termination of what has been shown to be an illusion, or you can rejoice that you have been freed from a path that could never provide what you really seek.
While the good feelings you’ve experienced are real, your understanding of what they come from is faulty. What you thought they came from will prove to be temporary or illusory until and unless you understand what God does.
The way God will direct you to the fulfillment of your dreams is through successive realizations of the lack of value in what you currently have. He will open up pathways to the fulfillment of your dreams that you will not recognize or walk in until and unless you realize the lack of value in the alternatives.
Psychologists say that humans will do almost anything to avoid loss. Anyone who has spent any time trying to persuade people will readily agree. Fear of loss is a strong motivating force.
In order to consider the facts that there are radically better things available and that you have no clue just how good they could be, you have to surrender to the idea of a just and loving God.
Humans tend to focus on what their natural inclinations drive them toward, and that is never ideal: “... for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.” (Mark 8:33) Instead of petitioning God to give you what you think is good, you ought to seek whatever he tells you is good. Trust in God is the only anchor that can keep you steady in the midst of an ever-changing sea of reality.
Unfortunately, it is rare that people willingly accept the inefficacy of the lies they cherish. Instead, they sit around until life hits them hard enough that they must admit that what they currently possess is inadequate. They realize their tools are insufficient to cope with the degree of darkness that exists in this world, and that even the best of times they’ve experienced thus far are inadequate to make all the other times worthwhile.
So much of our suffering in life is due to our refusal to let go of what can no longer bring us happiness. As earthly supports are kicked out, we can either scurry to find replacements or choose to increase our trust in God. We have to let go of who we think we are and what we think we have in order to find him. Improvement means obtaining things greater than what we currently possess, which means letting go of what we currently possess.
Several analogies may help us understand how God shows us something better.
The earth is constantly bombarded by solar radiation of varying intensity. The earth has a protective field, and when the sun hits it with particularly intense waves, the field attenuates to less than its full strength. In some cases, the field is momentarily nullified, and the radiation hits the earth directly. Like the earth’s reaction to solar energy waves, your ability to cope with the darkness of life will wane when you are hit by particularly intense circumstances in life. Unlike the earth-sun connection, you can grow in your ability to withstand greater and greater negative circumstances until nothing that can happen on this earth has the power to take away your joy.
Like fossilization, as quickly as we allow the decayable things to decay, they will be replaced with things that can’t decay—things that are stronger in standing up to everything this world can cause to happen.
Like a piece of carbon, pressure can make us better. Carbon becomes diamond as pressure upgrades its molecular structure into crystal by aligning it into a more coherent pattern. When the pressure comes, you can either seek to relieve it, or you can seek to use it. Using it means recognizing that a better way is being revealed. Not only is the pressure conquerable, it is essential—you can’t see what you lack in any other way.
We are like sponges. Initially, we are completely full of the world—the status quo understanding of what life is all about and who we are. The more life squeezes out of us, the more opportunity we have to absorb what God offers. Whenever we are squeezed out, we can either seek to refill ourselves with what the world offers (family, friends, children, drugs, alcohol, work, pleasure) or to fill ourselves with God.
These catalysts are external, but our reaction to them is internal. As external things push on us and tear at us, or are torn from us, we can actively choose to leave those slots empty until God fills them inside of us. We seek him to refill the holes left inside of us through our trust in him: through his spirit, his knowledge, and his reliability. We replace what is faulty in us with what is perfect in him.
God is good. If God is within you, you will be good, too. You are darkness, but God is light. If you submit to him and seek him in all things, his light will fill you:
22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! (Matthew 6)
This is not a merely spiritual process. You will see tangible, temporal fulfillment of this in your everyday life as you embrace the process. You will see your actions here and now leading to better outcomes in your life and in the lives of those you interact with. Your weakness will turn into strength.
You will be unconquerable to the extent you have gained trust in God. God has overcome all things and by trusting him completely, you will, too:
Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. (1 John 5:4)
There are two levels to the challenge of letting go of what you think you have.
The first level is the fear of loss of what you already have when you have access to a tangible, viable alternative. Fear of loss will make you question the superiority of the presented option. When the alternative is well understood and clearly viable, the only thing that can prevent you from taking it is your degree of self-honesty. We tend to be very good at fooling ourselves when we want to. You can fool yourself into believing that what you have is better than it really is, and you can fool yourself into thinking the alternative is worse than it really is.
The second level of letting go occurs when your alternative is something that isn’t readily apparent except through faith. In this case, the main doubt you will have is whether or not a better alternative actually exists.
There is a level of joy and happiness that can only be accessed by those willing to let go of what they think they have before moving ahead—in fact, before you even see the next opportunity. This, in turn, requires you to be completely honest about what you know are the permanent shortcomings of your present situation. It requires you to choose to let go even when the replacement is not yet present or obvious.
Maximal joy requires moving past reliance on placeholders. Dropping what is not ideal requires that you really believe that God is serious when he says he has blessings prepared for you that are greater than anything you have even imagined (see 1 Corinthians 2:9). Those who truly trust God will incessantly and tenaciously search for what is better, even when it means setting aside something good when something better isn’t always apparent.
If there is always something better available, do we need to be permanently uncommitted to what is before us here and now? No. It is necessary to fully invest in the here and now in order to enjoy what we have and also be ready for what is to come.
While you hold back from the present, you will remain unprepared for the future. Once, a group of people were led by God to build a city knowing full well they would need to move in the future:
16 And I consecrate unto them this land for a little season, until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise, and command them to go hence;
17 And the hour and the day is not given unto them, wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good. (D&C 51)
They built houses in spite of the fact that they knew they would soon move. This is merely one of many examples where God asked someone to do something that seemed permanent knowing full well it was not. So many things that we cling to are meant only to be stepping stones to something better.
Placeholders are not always bad. We are all strangers in a strange land, following our hearts towards a destination we do not yet know. Milestones will appear frequently along the way. These placeholders strengthen us and give us respite during our arduous journey, but they are not what we seek. The means are not the end. Living abundantly requires you to walk a razor’s edge consisting on one hand of deeply savoring good things that are nevertheless temporary, and on the other being willing to let go and move onto something better and less fleeting when the opportunity arises.
There are some select situations and people where forward progress doesn’t require moving on. While most things in life are like a snail who periodically leaves his fixed-size shell when he outgrows it, some few are like a vine, which grows with the tree it is wrapped around. The best things in life are infinite. They will grow with you. Their benefits will continue to increase through time.
Joy requires the sacrifice of all things, and the sacrifice of all things requires God
You can wish for any number of outcomes. However, if a certain desire requires everything to obtain, you will not be able to simultaneously desire anything else, because it will require everything else to be displaced in order to get it. The best things in life are exclusive.
Unlike milestone desires, which can be reached without necessarily prioritizing their attainment above all other things, joy will not compete with any other thing. If you desire maximal joy and happiness, you have to realize that it will cost you everything to get it.
Obtaining full, enduring joy requires that it be the most important thing to those who seek it:
44 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.
45 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
46 Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it. (Matthew 13)
26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?
29 Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,
30 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.
31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?
32 Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.
33 So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14)
If you limit what you are willing to do to receive joy in any way, you will never find it in its lasting fullness.
How do you know whether it is worth everything if you don’t know what it is like? How do you know what sacrificing everything means when you haven’t yet experienced it? The challenge of the gospel is that you need to believe in outcomes far greater than anything you can presently perceive, and you have to be willing to pay any price to obtain them.
Seeking joy is a difficult road: you are promised that you don’t really know exactly what a fullness of joy is. Paul said:
...eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)
Isaiah wrote:
For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him. (Isaiah 64:4)
The difficulty of this road is exactly why we need God. We need God in this journey because without him, we would not know the way and we would not have the strength to walk it. Through incrementally increasing knowledge of his character we are given the tools to know what sort of person we must be to obtain, retain, and appreciate the joy he possesses. This is why he said: “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” (D&C 6:36)
While we develop the faith necessary to truly believe God and believe in his character, it is right and good to place our hopes on tangible stepping stone situations. These placeholders will come and go as we face situations for which they are insufficient, particularly in light of their revealed limitations.
Eventually, however, our hope must be in Christ himself. It is our faith in him that will drive sufficient hope to maintain complete obedience to him in spite of all the obstacles life presents:
Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God. (Ether 12:24)
But because of the faith of men he has shown himself unto the world, and glorified the name of the Father, and prepared a way that thereby others might be partakers of the heavenly gift, that they might hope for those things which they have not seen. (Ether 12:8)
Without him we would surely fail. We would not even start the journey if he didn’t tell us the potential outcome. We would not know even where to start without him showing us the way. Even if we knew the way, we would not get very far without a knowledge of his justice, love, and mercy, all three of which are essential to endure through the tribulation and toil that are required to reach the joy we desire. Jesus said:
4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.
5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no <u>man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (John 14)</u>
Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. He is the way to maximal joy, he is the embodiment of the truth that gets you there, and he lives the life we seek for ourselves.
Jesus showed that the sacrifice of all things is required to obtain all the joy God wants to give you, and he showed the way we submit to that sacrifice.
Jesus lived his life fully reconciled to his most sincere understanding of the Father’s will. Still, his final hours of life were the chief challenge of his hard life. His path to a fullness of joy required him to feel as if he were forsaken by the Father on the cross: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) Contrast this with his later statement: “It is finished.” (John 19:30) His torment did not end until he was ready to hang on the cross for all eternity, if that is what the Father willed.
The Lord had previously told his disciples: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) After his sacrifice of all things, he told them: “Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.” (3 Nephi 12:48) Being perfect means perfect, total submission to God, to what is right, and to what benefits the world:
For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. (Mosiah 3:19)
In other words, the pinnacle realization in this life is that nothing of this world is worth having. Only what is from God is worth the cost. This is what Jesus meant when he asked: “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” (Mark 8:36)
Paradoxically, there is a law appointed in heaven which dictates that eternal possession requires sacrifice. It isn’t until you stop looking for your reward here that you actually gain it, and there is nothing you can do to fake it:
He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. (Matthew 10:39)
34 ...Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
35 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.
36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? (Mark 8)
In other words, you can only retain eternally what you are willing to sacrifice first. In mortality Jesus had power over life because he was willing to die. He obtained all things by losing all things. Abraham retained Isaac only because he was willing to let him go. Nephi was given power to seal on earth and in heaven because he was willing to submit his will completely to God’s.
If you want to save your life, you have to first lose it. You can't permanently retain what you aren't willing to give away.
The whole purpose of creation and the gospel is to provide the means by which individuals can obtain maximal joy. The means consist of information and power. He gives us an understanding of the best outcome we can aim for, he reveals to us the path we must walk to get it, and he provides all the information we need to appreciate it. When you know how to get there and you have the ability to get there, it becomes your choice whether or not you do.
We may not know God fully, but we know enough about him that he can serve as a tangible target for the joy we seek. If we trust that God has all joy and his whole purpose is to guide us to the same outcome, he can bridge everything we don’t know yet. He can be what tips the scales in favor of our decision to sacrifice all things (knowing we don’t yet know what that means) in order to receive all joy (knowing we don’t yet know what that means).
Light in the dark
There are few things as refreshing as a clear, crisp, sunny spring day after a cold, dark winter. Light has the ability to give us hope and happiness in spite of exposure to exceedingly difficult times. Light is not limited to the visible kind. God’s light is in all things and through all things. The more of his knowledge and character we obtain, the more of this light will be within us. Though darkness is thick in this world, and though your awareness of just how pervasive and intense it is will increase as you seek for more joy in your life, it is possible to have such light within you that you can outshine any amount of darkness, even on the darkest day.
You can be a light in the dark. Jesus said he is the light of the world, and inasmuch as we follow him, we will have his light: “...I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (John 8:12) He said that if we do this, we will also be the light of the world:
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 5)
The first step in becoming a light in the dark is to overcome the darkness within you. You can do this by embracing the light within you to reveal ways you can improve yourself.
You can’t obtain maximal joy without first putting yourself in order. Heaven is not a place that changes you. Rather, it is a physical place you go after your state of mind has changed to prepare you to find it joyful. The transition to heaven after this life is not a change in who you are, but merely a change in who and what is around you. If you want to go to heaven, you have to first become heavenly. You can have heaven here. If you don’t have heaven inside yourself here , you will not have it inside yourself there . If you are miserable now, you will be miserable then:
13 And because of the redemption of man, which came by Jesus Christ, they are brought back into the presence of the Lord; yea, this is wherein all men are redeemed, because the death of Christ bringeth to pass the resurrection...
14 And then cometh the judgment of the Holy One upon them; and then cometh the time that he that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still. (Mormon 9)
In order to obtain maximal joy, you have to be happy here and now. You can only be permanently happy when you can be happy independent of your external circumstances.
Jesus said that “the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 13:28) What did he mean? Lasting joy can’t come from without. It must come from within. It is one thing to absorb joy and happiness from external sources. It is quite another to create joy and happiness from within.
For by doing these things the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; yea, and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory. (D&C 21:6)
Enduring happiness comes from within as we act in accordance with what we know is right. Use the light inside of you—your conscience—and continually expand your knowledge of what is right.
The second step in becoming a light in the dark is to shine the light on others. Darkness is the default state. Though light is everywhere, it is unnatural to see it: “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” (John 1:5)
Through obtaining and sharing tools to deal with the darkness, you can help others step into the light:
And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you; (D&C 50:25)
When you become heavenly, you project heaven to those around you, even if you aren’t yet physically in heaven. You can show others what heaven is like and why it is desirable before they’ve obtained it themselves. By standing up to the darkness and forging ahead, you can blaze a path that makes it easier for others to do the same:
An old man going a lone highway, Came, at the evening cold and gray, To a chasm vast and deep and wide. Through which was flowing a sullen tide The old man crossed in the twilight dim, The sullen stream had no fear for him; But he turned when safe on the other side And built a bridge to span the tide.
“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near, “You are wasting your strength with building here; Your journey will end with the ending day, You never again will pass this way; You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide, Why build this bridge at evening tide?”
The builder lifted his old gray head; “Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said, “There followed after me to-day A youth whose feet must pass this way. This chasm that has been as naught to me To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be; He, too, must cross in the twilight dim; Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!” (“The Bridge Builder”, Will Allen Dromgoole)
The vast majority of people will not rise up and fight against their own darkness unless they see someone else do it first.
If you dare to stand against the darkness, the very example of your existence can give others the courage to do the same. They will not have to guess whether or not it is possible, because they will see you and instantly know it is. They will not have to wonder how to do it. You will show them.
Most people prefer to stay in the dark. They will shun any opportunity to shed light on themselves or others. “For they love darkness rather than light, and their deeds are evil, and they receive their wages of whom they list to obey.” (D&C 29:45)
These people will persecute you the more you try to shine light:
19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. (John 3)
Be who you are, knowing that most people will hate you for it. You aren’t seeking them. The people who need you need you to be yourself— the fulfillment of your true potential.
When people persecute you, maintain your character at all costs. Always do what you know you have to do. Turn the other cheek and rejoice when you are persecuted, knowing that the people who need you are out there.
The fire in your soul can light up the whole world.
Purging the fruit
If you choose to seek joy in life, you will be persecuted and betrayed by those who should love you. Jesus said: “And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.” (Matthew 10:36) You will find that everything you lose will be replaced with something better—something closer to the real thing:
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. (Matthew 19:29)
The vast majority of the good we experience here on earth is merely a stepping stone to the real thing. These placeholders are necessary to train us to trust in God sufficiently to do what is required to obtain the real thing. Without the stepping stones, we would be both ignorant of the way to obtain what we desire and unwilling to traverse the path to obtain it.
There are some things that, once possessed, can’t be lost. These are the exception rather than the rule. While this means that you permanently possess far less than you think you do, it also means that the losses you endure are different than you think they are.
Anything you lose was never the real thing. It was merely a steppingstone to the real thing. Because of this, the loss is not really a loss. If you’ve lost something, you never really had it in the first place.
Rather than thinking of what you perceive as loss to be the removal of a positive thing, think of it as the revelation of something greater; namely, more information about what it is you still lack.
Jesus taught that every time we receive a blessing from him, we should be prepared to lose it. He explained that the fruits we bear in seeking and worshipping him will be constantly purged:
1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. 11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. (John 15)
When Jesus speaks of abiding in him (verses 4-7), he means to remain reconciled to him as he gives you more light and truth. Fruit buds and grows when you allow the flow of information from Christ to come into every aspect of your life. Fruit is worthless unless it endures. It requires a continuous connection to God to preserve the fruit. As you continuously seek him, he will show you everything that could take away your joy "that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." The purpose of additional light and truth—additional information—is to provide you with what you need to bear more fruit.
What we colloquially call sacrifice is a lot less about “giving something up” and a lot more about embracing something better:
27 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?
29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. (Matthew 19)
One of the things animal sacrifice shows is that obeying God's commandments will require you to give up or give away the fruits that you worked hard to obtain in trust that you will receive something of a different, but better form. God never actually asks you to “give up” anything. Instead, he repeatedly asks you to make room for something better. He will continue to do this as long as you live.
God will purge your fruit by “asking” you to give it up to him. Asking is in quotes here because while it may come through him actually speaking to you and saying “I want you to stop doing this thing or start doing this other thing that will change how your life goes,” it is much more likely that it will come by his showing you how what you previously thought was a good thing is actually not as good as you supposed.
And what if you don't want to know? What if you would rather believe that ignorance is bliss? If you seek to keep the fruit you have by ignoring what he wants to show you, you immediately remove yourself from the vine. You become a detached branch, and you are fit only for the flames.
What are the flames? They are reality. Reality will come for you whether you like it or not. Reality will test your ideas and beliefs whether you want it to or not. ALL people will be tested by this fire after they die and gain a perfect knowledge of things as they are, pertaining to this world. Those who willingly subjected themselves to the Master's guidance in this life with full purpose of heart until death will be prepared to endure that fire and will retain all the joy they thought they had—and much besides— forever. Those who fall short of this, to any degree, will be surprised by the depth of pain they will experience. But this is not all.
Jesus said: "Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you." (John 15:3) He wasn't saying these people were clean just because he spoke some words. He was saying they were clean because they obeyed what he had taught them. They responded to additional information by reconciling their lives to it. In doing the same, we are justified.
However, reconciling yourself to what he has said is not the same as staying reconciled to what he will say in the future. That will require letting go of even more.
Some things endure
Many of the things experienced in this life have an end. The rich young ruler was surprised and saddened to learn that his riches were fleeting and could not endure in the path toward a fullness of joy:
16 And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?
17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
18 He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,
19 Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
20 The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?
21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.
23 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. 24 And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. (Matthew 19)
There are, however, things that endure forever:
19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Matthew 6)
In one exchange, the Lord made a distinction between what will endure and what is fleeting:
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, <u>which shall not be taken away from her. (Luke 10)</u>
In a sense, life is about searching for and obtaining the “good part”—the things “which shall not be taken away,” but will endure forever.
God knows what endures and what does not, and his gospel is about providing the path to those things that endure:
10 And if it so be that the church is built upon my gospel then will the Father show forth his own works in it.
11 But if it be not built upon my gospel, and is built upon the works of men, or upon the works of the devil, verily I say unto you they have joy in their works for a season, and by and by the end cometh, and they are hewn down and cast into the fire, from whence there is no return. (3 Nephi 27)
13 And everything that is in the world, whether it be ordained of men, by thrones, or principalities, or powers, or things of name, whatsoever they may be, that are not by me or by my word, saith the Lord, shall be thrown down, and shall not remain after men are dead, neither in nor after the resurrection, saith the Lord your God.
14 For whatsoever things remain are by me; and whatsoever things are not by me shall be shaken and destroyed. (D&C 132)
If we seek and trust in God, we will learn what endures and what does not. We will obtain what endures, and it will never be taken away.
It is hard; do it anyway
You can’t truly be happy in a state of ignorance, because knowledge of the bitter is necessary to recognize and appreciate the sweet. As you progress, you will be waylaid again and again by darkness as you grow in light. It is unavoidable because exposure to the darkness is required to know what you lack, which in turn is required to gain light.
You don’t need to pretend it isn’t hard. It is really hard. But it isn’t the hardest thing. The hardest thing would be doing anything else.
When the difficulty of what they were being asked to do started dawning on them, Jesus’ disciples were overwhelmed. Sensing this, Jesus asked them:
67 ...Will ye also go away?
68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. (John 6)
Jesus said, “...my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” (Matthew 11:30) This is only true with respect to the alternative. It is easier and lighter than ignorance, no matter how enticing ignorance may seem in the short term. The wrong thing is always harder in the end.
There are only two choices: what is right and what is wrong. Perceiving the right thing as difficult requires conjuring up a third way where things can remain as you imagined them prior to being shown more information about how things really are. That third way doesn’t exist. If you persist in lying to yourself to maintain the illusion of how you saw things before, you will still be just as subject to the consequences of what you now know. Reality doesn’t change just because you ignore it. These consequences will hurt you far more than doing the right thing will—by definition, this is what makes the right thing the right thing.
That the right thing is worth it is evident by the fact that it is right. If it wasn’t worth it, it wouldn’t be right. That is what makes it right. The difficulty isn’t related to whether it can be done or not, but rather how much you desire to do it.
The happiest person is not the person who thinks they are happy while remaining ignorant of the darkness that exists. The happiest person is the one who knows the most darkness, and has peace and contentment and joy in spite of it.
Happiness is not the absence of darkness. It is power over the darkness. The secret to maximizing joy is not avoiding this darkness, but embracing the idea that your awareness of darkness is the key to greater happiness. Feel the depth of the bad, so that you can learn what it takes to have the good.
You were created to be a warrior. Jesus is a warrior: “The Lord shall go forth as a mighty man, he shall stir up jealousy like a man of war: he shall cry, yea, roar; he shall prevail against his enemies.” (Isaiah 42:13) You know you will be torn apart as you endeavor on this journey. Don’t let that stop you. In this battle, victory doesn’t include survival.
Ride into the battle with courage and good cheer. Be courageous, and be happy. Find joy in your mission.