Is what you have good? How would you know if there were something radically better?
Pride tells us that what you know is all there is to know, and what you have is all there is to have. Humility declares otherwise.
We all know deep down that there is something better than what we have. There is always something radically better than what you already have. Even the most prideful hear a soft whisper from time to time saying it is so.
Believing something better exists is a prerequisite to receiving something better, and progressing to the point of knowledge from the point of belief necessarily involves pain. Why? Because gaining the awareness that something radically better exists while not yet possessing that something is painful. It is a revelation of what you lack, the difference between your present and possible joy.
In truth, nothing in us is really all that good: “...verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity.” (Psalm 39:5) In the scriptures, the word “vanity” means something that can’t do what it purports to do.
We are overcome by the world. Nothing in us is sufficient to overcome the world, even if it sometimes seems that it can. We only overcome the world as we replace what is in us with what is from God. As we are exposed to more and more of reality, our understanding of our nothingness increases:
When thou with rebukes dost correct man for iniquity, thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth: surely every man is vanity. Selah. (Psalm 39:11)
Experience shows us that even the things we previously prized are altogether insufficient, as when Daniel was visited by a heavenly messenger and exclaimed, “...there remained no strength in me: for my comeliness was turned in me into corruption, and I retained no strength.” (Daniel 10:8)
We derive a tremendous sense of security from the ideas that 1) things are consistent and 2) that most everything is known. We derive an immense amount of happiness and security from fleeting illusions—things that are actually incapable of maintaining the degree and duration of happiness they have given us to date.
Belief in illusions doesn’t stem primarily from lack of sight, but rather from the terror that comes from admitting what you really see. The signs are all around, but no one cares to admit it.
What would it mean to you if something radically better was always available? It would make both your expectations and your promises absolutely worthless.
In order for God to give you something better, you have to let go of something worse. He will show you the impermanence in what you thought was permanent. He will show you sadness in what you thought was happy, the sorrow of what you thought was joyful, the pain of what you thought was a source of pleasure, and so on. There is opposition in all things, and there is both good and evil in all things. He will show you a greater degree of good by showing you a greater degree of evil.
Much of what is available on this earth does not have the power to last. John the Baptist said: “A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.” (John 3:27)
In the end, every support you lean on that lies outside of God’s character will fail you: “For whatsoever things remain are by me; and whatsoever things are not by me shall be shaken and destroyed.” (D&C 132:14) What God offers can’t be overcome by the world. It endures everything that can happen here and hereafter.
God helps us find what endures by showing us how what we think we have does not endure. If you have lost something, you can either wallow in the termination of what has been shown to be an illusion, or you can rejoice that you have been freed from a path that could never provide what you really seek.
While the good feelings you’ve experienced are real, your understanding of what they come from is faulty. What you thought they came from will prove to be temporary or illusory until and unless you understand what God does.
The way God will direct you to the fulfillment of your dreams is through successive realizations of the lack of value in what you currently have. He will open up pathways to the fulfillment of your dreams that you will not recognize or walk in until and unless you realize the lack of value in the alternatives.
Psychologists say that humans will do almost anything to avoid loss. Anyone who has spent any time trying to persuade people will readily agree. Fear of loss is a strong motivating force.
In order to consider the facts that there are radically better things available and that you have no clue just how good they could be, you have to surrender to the idea of a just and loving God.
Humans tend to focus on what their natural inclinations drive them toward, and that is never ideal: “... for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.” (Mark 8:33) Instead of petitioning God to give you what you think is good, you ought to seek whatever he tells you is good. Trust in God is the only anchor that can keep you steady in the midst of an ever-changing sea of reality.
Unfortunately, it is rare that people willingly accept the inefficacy of the lies they cherish. Instead, they sit around until life hits them hard enough that they must admit that what they currently possess is inadequate. They realize their tools are insufficient to cope with the degree of darkness that exists in this world, and that even the best of times they’ve experienced thus far are inadequate to make all the other times worthwhile.
So much of our suffering in life is due to our refusal to let go of what can no longer bring us happiness. As earthly supports are kicked out, we can either scurry to find replacements or choose to increase our trust in God. We have to let go of who we think we are and what we think we have in order to find him. Improvement means obtaining things greater than what we currently possess, which means letting go of what we currently possess.
Several analogies may help us understand how God shows us something better.
The earth is constantly bombarded by solar radiation of varying intensity. The earth has a protective field, and when the sun hits it with particularly intense waves, the field attenuates to less than its full strength. In some cases, the field is momentarily nullified, and the radiation hits the earth directly. Like the earth’s reaction to solar energy waves, your ability to cope with the darkness of life will wane when you are hit by particularly intense circumstances in life. Unlike the earth-sun connection, you can grow in your ability to withstand greater and greater negative circumstances until nothing that can happen on this earth has the power to take away your joy.
Like fossilization, as quickly as we allow the decayable things to decay, they will be replaced with things that can’t decay—things that are stronger in standing up to everything this world can cause to happen.
Like a piece of carbon, pressure can make us better. Carbon becomes diamond as pressure upgrades its molecular structure into crystal by aligning it into a more coherent pattern. When the pressure comes, you can either seek to relieve it, or you can seek to use it. Using it means recognizing that a better way is being revealed. Not only is the pressure conquerable, it is essential—you can’t see what you lack in any other way.
We are like sponges. Initially, we are completely full of the world—the status quo understanding of what life is all about and who we are. The more life squeezes out of us, the more opportunity we have to absorb what God offers. Whenever we are squeezed out, we can either seek to refill ourselves with what the world offers (family, friends, children, drugs, alcohol, work, pleasure) or to fill ourselves with God.
These catalysts are external, but our reaction to them is internal. As external things push on us and tear at us, or are torn from us, we can actively choose to leave those slots empty until God fills them inside of us. We seek him to refill the holes left inside of us through our trust in him: through his spirit, his knowledge, and his reliability. We replace what is faulty in us with what is perfect in him.
God is good. If God is within you, you will be good, too. You are darkness, but God is light. If you submit to him and seek him in all things, his light will fill you:
22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! (Matthew 6)
This is not a merely spiritual process. You will see tangible, temporal fulfillment of this in your everyday life as you embrace the process. You will see your actions here and now leading to better outcomes in your life and in the lives of those you interact with. Your weakness will turn into strength.
You will be unconquerable to the extent you have gained trust in God. God has overcome all things and by trusting him completely, you will, too:
Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. (1 John 5:4)
There are two levels to the challenge of letting go of what you think you have.
The first level is the fear of loss of what you already have when you have access to a tangible, viable alternative. Fear of loss will make you question the superiority of the presented option. When the alternative is well understood and clearly viable, the only thing that can prevent you from taking it is your degree of self-honesty. We tend to be very good at fooling ourselves when we want to. You can fool yourself into believing that what you have is better than it really is, and you can fool yourself into thinking the alternative is worse than it really is.
The second level of letting go occurs when your alternative is something that isn’t readily apparent except through faith. In this case, the main doubt you will have is whether or not a better alternative actually exists.
There is a level of joy and happiness that can only be accessed by those willing to let go of what they think they have before moving ahead—in fact, before you even see the next opportunity. This, in turn, requires you to be completely honest about what you know are the permanent shortcomings of your present situation. It requires you to choose to let go even when the replacement is not yet present or obvious.
Maximal joy requires moving past reliance on placeholders. Dropping what is not ideal requires that you really believe that God is serious when he says he has blessings prepared for you that are greater than anything you have even imagined (see 1 Corinthians 2:9). Those who truly trust God will incessantly and tenaciously search for what is better, even when it means setting aside something good when something better isn’t always apparent.
If there is always something better available, do we need to be permanently uncommitted to what is before us here and now? No. It is necessary to fully invest in the here and now in order to enjoy what we have and also be ready for what is to come.
While you hold back from the present, you will remain unprepared for the future. Once, a group of people were led by God to build a city knowing full well they would need to move in the future:
16 And I consecrate unto them this land for a little season, until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise, and command them to go hence;
17 And the hour and the day is not given unto them, wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good. (D&C 51)
They built houses in spite of the fact that they knew they would soon move. This is merely one of many examples where God asked someone to do something that seemed permanent knowing full well it was not. So many things that we cling to are meant only to be stepping stones to something better.
Placeholders are not always bad. We are all strangers in a strange land, following our hearts towards a destination we do not yet know. Milestones will appear frequently along the way. These placeholders strengthen us and give us respite during our arduous journey, but they are not what we seek. The means are not the end. Living abundantly requires you to walk a razor’s edge consisting on one hand of deeply savoring good things that are nevertheless temporary, and on the other being willing to let go and move onto something better and less fleeting when the opportunity arises.
There are some select situations and people where forward progress doesn’t require moving on. While most things in life are like a snail who periodically leaves his fixed-size shell when he outgrows it, some few are like a vine, which grows with the tree it is wrapped around. The best things in life are infinite. They will grow with you. Their benefits will continue to increase through time.