It isn’t unusual for someone to actually want something other than what they say they want. As you live your life plan, you are going to face this situation every time you have to choose between acting as the person described in the plan or acting in some other way. When you find yourself swept up in circumstance, remember that you’ve already thought this through. However you might feel in the moment should be subordinated to what you already planned, until and unless you have information that differs from your understanding when you made your plan. Even then, odds are you should still follow your plan until you’ve had a clear headed moment to revisit your plan.
Unfortunately, the most common outcome for people who find themselves wanting to deviate from what they understand to be best is for them to pretend to have a rational basis for what is really an arbitrary emotional position by complicating the situation, ignoring facts, or otherwise bending the truth. With enough of a smokescreen, they can persuade themselves that what they know isn’t best is still worth doing.
There are two solutions for such challenges. The first is to become more honest about what you want and why you want it. The choice to be truthful is one each person must make for themselves. The second is to increase the strength of your reasons for wanting what is better.
When you want to change what you want, find something that matters more to you than what you are tempted to choose instead. Find something that you consider more important than what you want to pivot away from. Hold to those reasons in times of temptation.