What we feel is real—but it doesn’t necessarily reflect any part of reality except what exists inside of us. Emotions are a channel of information, but they are perhaps the least useful because they can have so little fidelity to reality. You are the conductor of a symphony of incoming information and outgoing action; emotions are merely one musician in the orchestra.
Emotions are very helpful for signaling that action is needed, but they don’t accurately help us determine what action is needed. They ought to trigger intentional entrance into rational mode, not dictate action directly while bypassing reason. Most people prefer a certain response when emotion is triggered: they get angry, they flee, or they ignore. Which do you prefer? When you notice yourself entering your fallback, stop and think about why you feel how you do, and what you can do about it.
You can and must acknowledge the reality of emotions without yielding to them. You can and must recognize the existence of your feelings without assuming there is a valid reason for having them. Your feelings do not justify your actions. They never can. Only reasons can justify actions, and if you choose to promote feelings to reasons, you are, by definition, an irrational person.
We live in an irrationally emotional society where peoples’ feelings take precedence over rational thought and even objective reality, as abundantly manifested by examples that increase in quantity and magnitude by the day.
The validity and worth of emotions is determined by how aligned with reality they are. A feeling divorced from reality cannot endure the revelation of what exists but is as-yet unknown. Because reason is the means through which we discover reality, enduring feelings cannot exist apart from reason. While feelings can exist and can be powerful without reason, they can only persist as long as the underlying ignorance upon which they are based endures.
To gain greater joy, you must understand something about objective reality—a concept that is antithetical to those who believe reality is constructed from their feelings. Those who insist on persisting in ignorance or willful delusion will only be disappointed time and again, as reality will eventually always force itself into and shatter any illusion with pain proportional to the degree of correction.
Pleasure based on ignorance cannot last, and it will always be replaced with greater misery in the face of reality. You will not continue to find joy in what is revealed to you as folly. This may well include something from the distant past, and it can happen no matter how significantly joyful you found it at the time.
Long-term maximal joy requires accuracy in understanding reality and living according to the greatest benefit. As you live according to your best understanding of reality, you will learn more about it. As you gain a greater understanding of reality, you will learn to value corrections in your beliefs rather than see them as unpleasant.