How and when our emotions manifest is highly coupled to our beliefs. Our beliefs strongly influence how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Everything we perceive in life is interpreted through a model of meaning, and that meaning—not the event itself—is what determines how it makes us feel.
“It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance. It is not external events themselves that cause us distress, but the way in which we think about them, our interpretation of their significance. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble.” - Epictetus
One’s beliefs are their model of the laws of cause and effect. When you have greater understanding of cause and effect and choose to better align with what you already know, you will find that the majority of the anguish in your life will evaporate.
Consider how many negative feelings come from inadequacy in our understanding of cause and effect:
- When we do not know what actions are necessary to produce the outcomes we desire.
- When the actions we take fail to produce the outcomes we desire.
- When new information about the causes of outcomes we seek reveals they cost far more, or that the benefits of those outcomes are far less than we anticipated.
Not having what you want can trigger a host of negative feelings. There are three possibilities as to why you do not have what you want:
- You are in the process of getting it.
- You aren’t willing to do what it takes.
- You don’t know how to get it.
Your beliefs can empower you to suffer short-term negative effects when you predict that your present actions will lead to greater longterm benefit. The degree to which you live up to your beliefs will generate confidence to give you patience while you are in the process of getting what you want. The more substantial your ability to overcome past challenges, the more confidence you will have that you will continue to do so, no matter how difficult things may seem in the moment.
Holding to the desire for an outcome whose price you are not willing to pay can cause great mental anguish. In the event your beliefs reveal costs for what you want that exceed what you are willing to pay, you can encounter peace conscientiously coming to this realization and moving on to what you prefer instead.
If you do not know how to get what you want, you can mitigate negative feelings by dedicating your energy to searching for the path that yields what you seek. While not all beliefs are conscious or consistently applied consciously, all beliefs can become consistently conscious through intention, attention, and honesty. To the degree that one discovers their beliefs, one can change them. Better estimates of the laws of cause and effect can provide you with means to achieve what you seek.