Why do you do what you do? Is there a better way of achieving your objective?
The benefits of understanding why you do what you do simply cannot be experienced in any other way. Honesty and all its benefits require the introspection of thinking about what you do and why you do it.1 Furthermore, to the extent that you possess evidence that suggests that what you are seeking will result from the path you are taking to obtain it, you will be empowered to endure actions that might otherwise be too difficult.
By inspecting whether your present path is the best way to what you seek, you will frequently discover a better way. Often you'll find through introspection that the present path is not the best path because it won't deliver what you expected or because there is an alternative path that leads to your goals more quickly.
As you sincerely consider your motives, you may notice that there are much better ways of getting what you say you want, but your ability to notice this or make a change will depend on your honesty. There are often hidden constraints that make both less likely. A common hidden constraint consists of an unwillingness to recognize any option that will intersect, expose, or accentuate a flaw in your character. For example, you might say that you care about a loved one, but withhold something they need to hear because you are afraid they will withdraw from your or punish you if you do. These situations give you the opportunity to reconsider and demonstrate the priority order of what is important to you. In the example given, do you care more about what you provide to your loved one, or more about what you receive from them?
You will find that achieving what you say you want will frequently reveal a new fault or reveal a higher cost to one you already know you have.2 In the previous example, actually minimizing the suffering of your loved one requires you to turn your cowardice into courage and your selfish desire to maintain what you get out of the relationship into a selfless desire to help them, even if they hate you for it.
Asking why you do what you do and whether it is the best way to arrive at what you seek can generate extensive feedback on improvements you can make to more directly or effectively pursue what you desire.
Footnotes
- 1. Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways. (Haggai 1:7) ↩
- 2. In the purview of some, Steve Jobs’ less famous startup Next Computers failed because of his obsession with intricate design details that were as expensive as they were unrelated to the final performance of the product. One example of these details was his requirement that the inside of the computer case be free from any ridges from the molding process. The removal of the ridges cost a fortune, while no one would ever see the inside of the case. When asked why it was so important, Jobs said his father, who was a cabinet maker, always finished the backs of the cabinets with as much care as the rest of the cabinet. Sentimental tribute for one’s father is not a commercially relevant quality. The company’s failure came because of Jobs’ preference for feeling good over actually doing good, in spite of having adequate resources, a large market, Jobs’ star power, and a much needed product. Suffering helps us learn the limits of our weaknesses. The collapse of Next catalyzed Steve Jobs’ triumphant return to Apple for a chain of successes many believe could never have happened without the lessons he learned from the failure. ↩