It is possible for others to see you more accurately than you see yourself

You would be utterly astonished to see how often and to what extent the qualities of our character are manifested in our lives. While these manifestations are almost totally hidden from almost everyone, those with sufficient understanding can see them as plainly as you can someone’s hair color or height. Your emissions of character might be invisible to you, but they can be as significant, obvious, and constant to an observer as the background noise of a kitchen appliance is to someone paying attention to, even if it remains unnoticeable to anyone else.

Character traits are so deeply rooted that they tend to emit clues in even the smallest of actions. Little outward actions can provide strong demonstrations of large internal attributes.¹ A wise observer can learn a great deal about someone’s core values and deep desires through the smallest or seemingly mundane actions.²

It comes as a surprise to many that there are people in the world so wise that they will quickly come to know you better than you know yourself. This familiarity is not limited to the experiences you have had, but will extend into accurate projections of how you would act in situations beyond your present experience, each of which demonstrates who you are beyond what you can see without them.

Have you ever wondered how it was that, during his mortal ministry, Jesus could know such private things about a person just by meeting them?³ Though he obviously had supernatural vision, the Lord leaned on the outward signs of inward character.

When he called his apostles, he did not call men with whom he grew up in Nazareth, but from new acquaintances in other towns. What clues did he use? Everything! Their reactions to his actions,⁴ their independent choices (such as their vocations), and everything else they did and didn’t do or say provided evidence for their character, all of which he processed over time, including a long night in prayer before he called them.⁵ It was no coincidence that several of the apostles had chosen the vocation of fishing—that much closer to becoming eventual fishers of men—or that Levi’s profession as a tax collector was assessing the value of things, which aided him in recognizing the value of the Lord when he was unrecognized by so many. Such signs are evident in the lives of all people for those with eyes to see them.

Similarly, those who successfully identified Jesus as the Christ did so through using the same subtle clues that he used to identify and choose the most righteous men as his disciples. After the Lord’s resurrection, he walked incognito with two disciples. While they failed to recognize him as he unfolded the scriptures during the long walk, it was the subtle signs in his blessing of bread they shared at the end of their journey that opened their eyes to who he was (see Luke 24). John the Baptist recognized the sign of the dove as the promised indication of the Messiah, and in response to John’s later inquiry, Jesus cited several particular expressions of his character as the evidence he was looking for.⁶

The better you know yourself, the less likely it is that you will come across someone who knows you better. Unfortunately, very few people know themselves very well at all. While you can learn to see how you really are incrementally through the choices you make and their repercussions, other people can sometimes provide an expedited channel.

Subtle clues were used in scripture by others who sought to measure the character of others. For example, Rachel was identified by Abraham’s servant as a woman worthy of being Isaac’s wife through her willingness to perform the considerable labor to pull water up from the well for a stranger and his many thirsty camels (see Genesis 24).

Though not all people have enough understanding to discern them fully, to one who is aligned with the spirit of God, your secret works and motives⁷ may as well be a neon sign mounted on your face.

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. (Proverbs 20:11)

If people understood just how much of themselves they reveal to a person of understanding with every word they utter or omit, and everything they do or don’t do, they would probably avoid such a person at any cost.