Recognizing and boosting the opinion of the wise

While the perspective of wise or accomplished people can be invaluable in increasing the accuracy of your self-perception, the wise and accomplished are least likely to be identified or sought by those who most need their help. Wisdom in another is not frequently obvious to those who lack it in themselves. The best approach is to assume that a person knows of what they speak until they give you sufficient reason to doubt it. For most, this won’t take very long.

One indication that you are dealing with a wise person is that their words or presence make you feel less than you otherwise would. This offense is something most people recoil from, assuming it is due to the arrogance of the other person. However, the presence of real arrogance in another and its absence in you would make you feel better about yourself—not worse. If you find yourself feeling like less than you thought in the presence of another person, odds are that you are being temporarily relieved from an overinflated self-worth by the presence of someone better than you. Rather than make things worse by persisting in your pride, it is best to use such experiences to recalibrate your selfworth instead of persisting in your pride by assuming arrogance on their part.¹

The opinion of the unwise or ill-informed is inconsequential. Seek for and yield to the opinion of those wiser than you. If you have the opportunity to receive feedback from a wise person, resist the common tendency to diminish, deflect, or ignore what does not accord with your self perception.² Instead, open-mindedly hear them out and try to objectively weigh the evidence they provide you with. As you weigh what they say, realize that what you wish were true about yourself is irrelevant to establishing how you really are. At the same time, do not disregard real evidence from your life that demonstrates the kind of person you are. In considering evidence of your virtues, do not disregard your knowledge of your faults. Hold fast to what you know to be true until and unless someone gives you sufficient reasons to do otherwise.