Boost the opinion of those who have what you want or are how you want to be

The only opinions that should matter to you come from those who have what you lack and want, including their character. What is the value of the opinion of someone who doesn’t have anything you want? Why should you care about the opinion of anyone who is less than you want to be?

You can and should seek out people you respect and ask them what they think about you rather than passively awaiting them to proactively offer their unsolicited opinion. It isn’t difficult to find a person devoid of the politeness that prevents unsolicited opinions, but this trait is much more common among fools than the wise.¹ As a person becomes more wise, they will only be willing to share their unsolicited opinion to the extent they possess true benevolence. The possession of two rare traits is much more rare than the possession of either one alone.

Seek out those with whom you would trade lives if given the chance. Find those who have what you want, who know what you don’t, or who do what you are unable to. Ask them to give you advice, and carefully weigh what they say.

The advice of mentors will always be of varying degree of accuracy, so always remember your duty to vet all information and retain responsibility for your own reactions to whatever they say. Whether their advice is perfect or not, it will in almost every case be worth asking, as it will still provide you with options and ideas you hadn’t considered. Even bad advice has value, because the vetting process will help you enumerate reasons to have greater confidence in whatever you believe and do instead.